BITCHING.
Readers, you all know that this was not intended to be a cooking blog, but more an outlet to vent about how difficult this will be. Well you're in luck, because today will be that bitching tirade!
I did not start this to become more domesticated, or a houseparent of sorts. I do not think there is a more selfless, thankless JOB than house parent! I am not a big enough woman to do it, and yet I find myself doing things that were not what I was intending when I started this. I find myself waiting on the boys to make then meals. First, I hate to wait! I hate it. I don't like being late and my skin begins to crawl when I get the feeling I have to wait for things. I even lack the capacity to lay in bed if I'm awake, as if consumed in small bugs that I can't repel away from me. WOW, that is a pretty classic Katherine tangent, moving on. I wake up hours before the boys and I just wait until I can make them breakfast, then lunch and then dinner. The problem is I am not only not used to making dinners every night, but I still expected that the hubs would be doing some of them. The problem is not that the hubs is not doing that, it's just that I am this erratic, spazzing whirlwind and he moves more at a Southern molasses pace and it just freaks me out!
I was so mad, for feeling that now my time is spent doting on the kid and waiting for the hubs, this morning that when I had to go to the grocery store ....once a(frickin')gain... that I made a beeline for the in house Starbucks for the biggest carmel infused sugary therapeutic relaxer. Deep breath, deep breath. I just stood in front of the stand and looked at the menu. My one drink of choice cost more than the gallon of milk, eggs and cheese I had to pick up. I can not imagine what could have happened if there had not been a line. Deep breath, deep breath.
Man, I just found out that thing in which I am not appreciating this blog for! Writing this out and gathering my thoughts has made me find some
clarity. I wanted to wallow in self-pity for a while longer! When I think about it, I have not only gotten used to living my life so lax, but I am used to holding the "stereotypical breadwinner role" w/ the full time working and 2-3 classes a week, and so I did not hold many household responsibilities, like the kid's homework, dinners or cleaning. Now that I am the one working part-time, my classes online this semester, and the hubs working full time, wait for it.... It is my turn and now my job to start taking on the household work too. I guess I just have to quit being a brat about it, and start being a responsible part of this family. Deep breath, deep breath.
And it would help alleviate stress if I could figure out how to create a weekly meal plan. I understand this is really suppose to help, but I can't even figure out how to plan this. Anyone still like me enough after this rant to give me some ideas?
Appropriate scene from Don't
Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)????
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Did you burn something?
Kenny Crandell: Yeah, well, maybe if you'd called and told me you were gonna be, like... three-and-a-half hours late, I could've planned my dinner better.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: I had to work late, OK?
Kenny Crandell: You still should've called. I sat and I waited. I went ahead and I fed the kids. I worked all day on that casserole.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Sorry.
Kenny Crandell: You haven't even said how nice the house looks. You're off at the office all day doing interesting office things. I'm stuck here cooking and cleaning and mowing the lawn, helping Melissa with her fastball, being a role model for Zach, spending quality time with Walter, doing your party shit! You've got the car and you don't even take me anywhere anymore. And when was the last time we went out to dinner together, huh? You know what, I'm sick and tired of not being appreciated!
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: I appreciate you.
Kenny Crandell: Eat shit! [storms away]
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: I don't believe this! I have to get up at 5:30 every morning so I can beat rush hour traffic into the city and go sit behind a desk for eight hours a day and miss Oprah Winfrey everyday on my summer vacation. And then, I get to drive home in gridlock IN A VOLVO with no air conditioning just so I can take care of you guys and put food on the damn table! It's a rat race and it sucks, Kenny. So what do you want, a medal? [long pause]
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Oh come on, you don't have to do all this. I mean, I never asked you to whisk the couch.
Kenny Crandell: Well, it needed it.