Just a tease...

Readers,
I thought before I played catch up I would give you a little smile first. Da kid challenges me all the time, and for some particular reason I play right into it. so, when we decided to get a coconut to see which if us could actually open it. I was game on. We went to our grocery store and quickly found one. Readers, that's okay, right? It should be just fine to be able to pick up a coconut in GA in any season, right?
Well, needless to say, da kid and I could not even get a scraggly hair from the thing. I swung down a machete... or really the biggest knife I had, on this thing, and it was like a slow series of stills from a cartoon. The knife actually quivered in my hand. A scattering of coconut dust/dirt was below the perfectly intact brown ball.
We figured that if we could not make a scratch, we could have faith that da hubs would either successfully crack it open, or really hurt himself in the process. Either way we win!
After a few swipes, da hubs did not disappoint and he took it out to his tool castle!


Here is said coconut, let's call him Glenn. I bet this scene looked like an S&M torture chamber.

Glenn got sawed first, with what resembles a electric knife used for carving a turkey. That merely twisted some of the long hairs, like if you ever tried to curl your long, straight hair with a curled bristled brush because you knew that would give you those cool spiral curls of 1989, but instead just had to be cut out of your hair. Just like that. so, next the hubs decided to screw holes into Glenn.

Readers, drilling the holes was scary. Glenn is not that large and da hubs was having to hold him with one hand, while at times the screwdriver would not be tough enough and veer off its course, close to the hubs hand. I just kept telling myself, "He has insurance and this feat is in the name of science." After the first hole penetrated, da kid and I thought that some milk would come out of Glenn. It did not, but we figured maybe we had one of those special, non-milk coconuts. Once he got three holes in Glenn, da hubs started this caveman-esque endeavor of using something that looks like an enlarged flathead screwdriver and hit the butt of it with a hammer. I was fascinated that such techniques even reside in someone's head.

Oh boy, now we are getting somewhere Glenn! First, Glenn had an outer coating. Look above. I had no idea readers, did you?

Readers, we are finally getting to slice out some chunks! So exciting! Here's it comes....

WTF!? Yes readers, Glenn was rotten! How can that even happen? Whah Whah...

So, that's my smile to you before we play catch-up.